How to reduce stress during pregnancy
Before I got pregnant, I didn’t really sit down and think about what it would really mean. I have never been one for forward planning!
As exciting as becoming pregnant is, it can be a stressful and anxious time. Before I got pregnant, I didn’t really sit down and think about what it would really mean. I have never been one for forward planning!
Then when I became pregnant it was like a whole new world of questions had opened up - What would happen at work? What are all these appointments for? What will happen to my body? What kind of birth should I have? How would it affect my relationships? What did I need to buy? Argh!
It can feel a bit overwhelming, but with a few simple steps you can ease the stress and minimise your anxiety.
Get informed
This is my biggest piece of advice for all expectant parents; knowledge really is power. Stress can be triggered by feeling a lack of control and can be minimised by knowing your options and what to expect.
At work - One of the first things you might think about is what will happen at work and whilst you might not be ready to share your news yet, you can start to gather information from day one. Read through your employer’s policies and process guides and also the information on gov.uk. This should give you a good idea of how much you will be paid and your leave entitlements. You can then start planning your dates and finances well in advance of sharing the news with your employer. If you are worried about your employment or colleague’s behaviour during your pregnancy then speak to your HR team in confidence or an external expert (like me).
Your pregnancy - Whether you love books or online videos, there is a wealth of information out there about what will happen to you and your baby during pregnancy. Find credible & qualified sources to understand what is happening at each stage. Attend every appointment and class that you are offered (your employer has to give you paid time off for medical appointments) and go prepared with questions. Antenatal classes can be great for information and making new mum friends, however if this is not an option for you financially, there are free or lower cost options available through the NHS, which are equally as good.
Your birth plan - Even if you are planning a natural birth, I would recommend learning about all the different options available. So that if things do not go to plan, the terms that the medical team uses are familiar and you can still make informed decisions at this heightened time. My experience was exactly that, I had planned to have no medical interventions at all, but as complications began to arise, things rapidly changed and I was able to understand what my midwives were telling me and advocate for myself.
Your health - one side effect of pregnancy is well-meaning advice coming in from all angles. The best way to stop getting overwhelmed by this is to know your own views on a subject and not get carried away by advice that is against your own thoughts and values. Just smile and thank the person for their advice and move on, knowing you are doing the right thing for you.
Shake off the ‘shoulds’!
Many parents experience guilt from day one and this sometimes stems from not doing something that you think you ‘should’ be. As a new parent there is a wealth of options and it is not possible (or healthy) to try and do everything. Don’t worry about what your friends did or what social media tries to sell you; just find the things that work for you and focus on those, every family is different. Intuition as a parent is so important and so learn to tune in to that.
Intuition as a parent is so important and so learn to tune in to that.
Don’t worry about what your friends did or what social media tries to sell you; just find the things that work for you and focus on those, every family is different
Create boundaries for you and others
Pregnancy can be physically and emotionally demanding and having clear boundaries can protect your health. It’s important to note that these may change as you go through and it’s important to share them with those around you.
Boundaries can include:
Prioritising rest over social occasions
Deciding what personal information you share with certain people
Being clear that belly touching is not ok
Needing personal space and ‘me’ time
Chat through expectations with your partner around shared responsibilities and finances
Saying ‘no’ to things which may harm your health or your baby’s
Sticking to your contractual hours at work
Being clear on what medical interventions you will accept
Ask for help and support
Some expectant parents do not ask for help in fear of judgement. Remember that this is a new experience for you and you cannot possibly know everything; and more crucially no one expects you to! Find people whose views and opinions you respect and ask for a chat.
If you are concerned about your baby or experiencing symptoms then reach out as soon as possible. Let your partner or a family member know and contact your GP/midwife. They will never tell you off for ‘bothering’ them and will always reassure you that it is better to ask and check.
Save your money
Pregnancy magazines and exhibitions will try to sell you all manner of gadgets and the fact is, you probably don’t need half of them. For the first few weeks your baby will eat, poo, sleep and repeat and that is pretty much it. There are some essentials that you need and you can find practical lists for these online.
It’s easy to get swept up but save your money for later down the road when you really need something, want to treat yourself or have an unexpected bill. You may feel like you need everything ‘just in case’ but with next or same day delivery on most things, you won’t have to wait long. Find excellent second hand items on Facebook or Ebay or chat to friends and family who might have things they no longer need that they are more than happy to share.
It’s easy to get swept up but save your money for later down the road when you really need something, want to treat yourself or have an unexpected bill.
Lisa Thompson is a Mum and the owner of Mountain HR
She is an independent HR, Training and Coaching Consultancy based in Sidcup & Bexley, South East London and with customers all over the UK remotely. Creating safe and inclusive workspaces for everyone is her passion; with a particular focus on raising awareness around mental health and supporting women at all stages of their careers. As a maternity expert she provides coaching and training to individuals and businesses on how best to support women during pregnancy, maternity and on their return to work.
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